thinking time

I finally found a place to be alone! Of course, it has to be a warm day and requires quite a walk or jog; and there are occasional hikers who pass by. However, this is the most quiet peace I have had in some time. The path I took winds around Ob Hill. I started out running, but the trail is quite precarious in spots and I took to walking chunks of it as well.

On one side, the wind was blocked and there was quiet. I stood there and watched a plane come in for landing at Willie Field and saw the Terra Bus slowly creeping the 7 miles over the ice shelf back to town. I ran further; down the back, sea-side, of the hill and came across a bone yard where skuas must indulge in their penguin and seal findings of the day. Yet further along the trail, I found a variety of different rocks that make up the hill.

I sat down on some scree and enjoyed the warm (40F+) temperatures and the gentle breeze. And, there, I thought. I thought about how vast the ice was and how temporal some of it is as the ice breakers took turns combating a gigantic chunk of the frozen water that decided to block in the ice pier today. I thought about how magnificent the mountains across the sea were and how small I am; crouched on the side of a little hill on a little island in a huge sea on a humongous continent in a bigger world.

I used to think I had little testimony of life to share with people; and perhaps my life does not contain the wild adventure and hilarious stories of some. I might not have the most comedic or interesting personality, or standout in drastic proportions to others, but as I finished college and went on with life on my own, I realized that not only do I have an explanation for the way my life has come and gone, but so does everyone else. My life's testimony does not culminate in my Antarctic existence, it has more to do with the journey I took to get here. This icy adventure may become part of my life testimony as I process through the rest of life; but it is not an end; nor a beginning to what I live for. All of life is a learning process. The people I have met in the last 3 months have taught me things to take along with me into the next part of my life's purpose.

Every day I reflect on how special it is to be here, in Antarctica in 2007. I am floored in amazement that God actually created some vistas and buttes, mountains and seas for me; for us to enjoy. So, on the hillside, I sent back some joy. But, while these things are building blocks to the next segment of life, my life’s testimony up to this point is what is important. It is my love for throwing javelin, my endearment to friends and family, my tough years working and trying to find out what to do, my interest in other people, my desire to find truth, and my strong will to travel; and more importantly how Christ has influenced me in each of those parts of life; redeeming my life and those around me. While I have had my ups and downs, I am unraveling (slowly and incompletely) why God has me on earth.

Right now I'm not accomplishing huge feats for mankind like some of the scientists here. I'm not a missionary; or even able to attend church every Sunday. I'm not doing something I am particularly "gifted" at. But, I am able to praise God for every blessing, here. I believe in the cause I am supporting as a caretaker of Creation. I am learning about society in a micro-community and finding all sorts of people who have as many ways of interpreting our existence. I am seeing new and exciting things and hoping for a renewal of Creation. I guess, my testimony is not something I focus on or emphasize; it is the way I live my life and the process of life that I continue to be a part of.

"Take these hands and lift them up. For I have not the strength to praise you near enough. Take my voice and pour it out. Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found. Take my body and build it up. May it be broken as an offering of love. Take my time from this earth and let it glorify all that you are worth. All my soul needs is all your love to cover me; so all the world may see I have nothing without You." - Bebo Norman -